The Path to Having a Better Sex Life

Even in the healthiest of relationships, time often takes a toll. What were once little details you treasured about your partner are now quirks you’ve simply accepted as a fact of life, and while you can’t imagine life without them, they definitely don’t seem to have as much of an impact on your daily thoughts as they likely did when you first got together. Fortunately, this is a normal progression, so don’t beat yourself up about it. It becomes very easy to forget the true value of a person when you’ve become used to their constant presence, but—as the saying goes—”you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”. Of course, you don’t need to wait until the relationship has completely deteriorated; you can always improve your current relationship! While this article focuses mainly on improving your sex life, take note of the approach we recommend. You can apply the same principles involved in having better sex to other aspects of your relationship, which is sure to strengthen the relationship overall! 

Rekindling the Flame

Having sex with your partner is much different than having a random hookup, and this is because of the romantic attachment. However, without the romance, it’s very easy to fall into an uninspired sex routine where you’re simply running through the motions, rather than enjoying a special moment with your partner. For this reason, the first thing you’ll need to do doesn’t involve the act of sex at all: it involves romancing your partner! 

There are a variety of ways to romance your partner in the bedroom, such as sweet-talking, setting out rose petals, or lighting candles. These are direct in-the-moment approaches that are sure to add a bit of romance to your next sexual encounter, but you shouldn’t forgo the indirect approach either. Indirect tactics (such as sending them flowers at work or writing them little notes) don’t involve romancing them inside of the bedroom. Instead, you’ll be romancing them throughout your normal life! Forming and maintaining a strong romantic bond with your partner is one of the best ways to improve your overall sex life, so we recommend using both approaches concurrently. True Sex Stories

Foreplay Matters

After you have your romantic bases, you’ll eventually be taking things inside of the bedroom. Once this happens, it’s important to avoid jumping right into intercourse. Instead, take things slow and begin with foreplay to set the mood (a bit of music can also help with this). The primary goal of foreplay is to get both partners ready for sex through a combination of teasing and individual pleasure. Not quite sure what we’re talking about? Think back to high school, specifically the first three “bases”! Although the exact definition of each base will vary depending on who you ask, generally speaking, the bases are as follows:

• First base is kissing

• Second base is feeling your partner’s body above the waist (specifically their breasts and nipples)
• Third base consists of below-the-belt stimulation, including fingering, cunnilingus, hand jobs, and blow jobs

The first two bases are fairly easy, but many people struggle to please their partner once they get to third base. Thankfully, you don’t have to worry even if you’re not an expert at oral sex. There are many different sex toys that you can use to help stimulate your partner, making the task easier for you while allowing you to keep that energy for use later on. Toys such as vibrators or male masturbators are quite easy to use and allow you to start having a better sex life right away, before you’ve even gotten to intercourse!

Doing “The Deed”

Toys are great for foreplay, but they can also be utilized during intercourse as well! Anal sex toys such as butt plugs are a good option for couples since they can be used regardless of genitalia and provide additional stimulation during intercourse. Simplistic models are static toys that simply need to be inserted for added pleasure, but more advanced models offer features such as vibration which can certainly spice up the occasion! Since many of these toys can be controlled by a remote, they also work great for foreplay. 

Using ribbed condoms might add a bit of extra stimulation for your partner, but a far superior option is using a penis sleeve. As the name suggests, these toys fit onto the penis, providing additional girth and length (with some sleeves offering both internal & external textures for even more pleasure!). Penis sleeves can also be helpful if you suffer from erectile dysfunction, although these purpose-specific sleeves tend to be more expensive than their purely-pleasure-oriented counterparts.

Taking on a New Role

Chances are, you and your partner have clearly-defined roles in your sex life. An easy way to spice up your sex life is by changing (or even switching) these roles! Roleplay provides an opportunity to explore both you & your partner’s sexual fantasies within a safe, controlled setting. Of course, your individual fantasies and role-playing ideas may not be the same, so this is a discussion you’ll need to have together. Figure out which fantasies you’d like to explore, then consider purchasing props to add to the “realism” of your roleplay. Many online sex stores sell outfits specifically for this purpose so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding the approach attire to act out your specific roleplaying ideas. 

Another idea is to completely switch roles. This can be done easily using a dildo (specifically, the strap-on kind). While not every couple will be willing to trade places for a moment, the practice is loved by many, so it may be worth experimenting for a night to see if role reversal could be a fun change to add to your sexual repertoire!

Your Sex Life Moving Forward

The isn’t a universal fix-all solution that works for every couples’ sex life. The above suggestions will definitely help you start having better sex, but you’ll likely need to experiment a bit to see which methods do or don’t work in your relationship. Don’t think of this as an obstacle to overcome though. Rather, think of it as a journey that you and your partner can take together as you improve your sex life! The truth is, some things will work out great and other things might be a complete flop, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. You’ll have an amazing sex life soon enough, and—in the meantime—your partner is sure to appreciate the extra effort.